The Art of Forgivness Part 2

On October 30, 2004 I posted The Art of Forgivness: Part 1. The focus of the post was the relative nature of modern forgiveness. Forgivenesss has been reinvented, and has more to do with self-help than reconciliation. Biblical forgiveness presupposes an absolute divine standard of right and wrong. The requirement for true Biblical forgiveness is to first recognize this standard because if there is no true standard for good and evil, right or wrong, there is no real offense. Once this standard is recognized we have a basis for cofrontation, repentance, and reconciliation.

What is forgiveness? The Christian finds the answer in God's word, and the blueprint starts in Genesis and is completed in Revelation. Christ is our living example, so it is to him that we ultimately look for the full answer. God has revealed his moral standards in the Law he gave to Moses, and Israel is the example of how God seeks reconciliation when his law is broken. Even before the law of Moses and the birth of Israel, we are given a consistant model for dealing with individuals who have wronged us. The path to forgiving is layed out before us, so lets take a step at a time.

When to confront. We have all experienced having our feelings hurt, being let down, or had moments of disappointment in almost every kind of relationship. Family, freinds, co-workers, and business associates, any relationship has the potential for causing us pain. The difficulty is in recognizing when we have been objectively wronged, or if what we are experiencing is a difference in personality traits, poor comminication, differences of opinion, or the differences in which people communicate their feelings, desires, opinions, and just about everything else for that matter. If we attempt to get an apology for every percieved wrong, we can damage healthy and vital relationships. We need to be aware of our differences with others and the uniqueness of all individuals.

The Christian perspective is that humans are created in the likeness and image of God, but have fallen in adam and have become by nature sinfull (Rm 3:12). We must continuously keep this in mind as we percieve the wrongs done to us (Mt 6:12). The scripture say that love covers a multitude of sins. We can use this principle to be gracious to one another, and to prevent ourselves from badgering one another over our faults and weaknesses. God does not give us pound for pound accoding to each sin we commit everyday. He gives us grace and love in Christ to fall and get up; through his great love, our love and obediance toward him is given time and patients to grow and mature.

Desperate Housewives and The Christian's Opportunity

There has been much commotion over the new TV Show "Desperate Housewives". I had never seen the show until recently, and I believed from the title alone, the show was probably nothing more than another sleazy, Hollywood drama, bashing male infidelities. The previous episode proved that DHW is anything but a conventional, modern, Hollywood spin on marriage and values. DHW has 3 to 4 different stories running through each episode, so I would like to take a look at each story during the following weeks and evaluate its worth from a Christian perspective. As Christians we should engage our culture not hide from it. The story lines in DHW can provide Christians with a culturally relevant way to discuss the faith with those who might never want to directly discuss the truth claims of Christianity.

Bree Van De Kamp is the conservative Christian played convincingly by Marcia Cross. She is not the stereotypical right wing bigot that Hollywood enjoys portraying. Ross’s character is strong, compassionate, attractive, and devoted to the well being of her family and friends. Bree Van De Kamp has endured with an un-faithful husband who enjoys some domination with intimacy and her son has disclosed that he may be sexually conflicted, and he does not believe in God. This story line has been plucked right out of the current cultural conflict that American society is grappling with, and it takes the fight to the most intimate of all relationships, our spouse and children.

It is my opinion that Bree represents the average Christian attempting to confront the moral estrangement of the world around them. Her attempt to remain devoted to the men she loves, and the pain they bring upon her through their ethical dementia, gives the story an opportunity to communicate the idea of Christ-like love and grace. Albeit her husbands infidelities, Bree reconciles her marriage, and despite his unusual sexual request, she sacrifices her own good taste to regain intimacy with her husband. In a touching moment with her son, Bree pours her heart out to him. She tells him she would die for him, and that she longs for him to be in heaven with her. Later in the episode her son meets with the local pastor and confesses that he is not really gay, but he enjoys both men and women. He informs the pastor that he intends to fool his mother into thinking he has changed, and then he will do something so horrible that it will “rock her world”.

The mother/son conflict is more than a generational misapprehension; it is a conflict of world views. The mother fears for her son because she is aware of an absolute moral standard that all are accountable to. She loves and sacrifices because it is her duty to the absolute good of God and those who need her. The son is a relativist who “owes” nothing to anyone; he has no moral regard even for his own mother, and sex is like ice cream, one day you desire vanilla the next you might want chocolate. You can lie to and dishonor your parents because there is no divine standard to abide by or to fear. The story line is more than a cheesy night time soap opera; this is the cultural war currently being waged in churches, universities, government, and law. If Christians fail to apprehend their responsibility to engage in this battle, society is headed for dark times. We cannot hide in church pews and pray for the rapture. We must go into our world, and make disciples of all people, proclaiming the good news of Jesus Christ.